What a way to start the longest (or maybe shortrest day, considering i'll be drugged) day here in the hospital so far. After taking a while to actually get to sleep (can you blame me for apprehension?) RN Amy comes to give me my last steroid pill before surgery. (now that I think about it, no one woke me to check my vitals around 3am...huh? Wonder why not. Guess the fact I was still breathing was a good indication I was still alive) I'm not supposed to have food and water, or at least too much before surgery (which had me asking about one of my daily meds which is known to tear apart the stomach wall linings if there's nothing solidish present before-hand.) and upon giving me the pill accidentally spilled a little water in the medicine cup which caused the tablet to dissolve a bit. I was able to take it, but a half dissolved tablet has taste and so I shuddered when taking it (that nasty taste is still sitting at the back of my throat, ugh *shudders*)
Amy apologized of course, and I asked her if she knew what would happen after surgery. She told me that the majority of patients for this floor actually spend a few hours in recovery before being sent back to their room, so I might wake up back in this room after surgery for all I know.
I'm feeling a little nervous already, just knowing, but I figure it's like jumping off the hayloft at the barn, which I've done. Those times I've had to toss down a lot of hay so it was all over, I've pushed myself to jump down from the loft onto them, maybe to just be daring. And yeah, it takes me a moment of sitting on the edge to get some nerve and just slide off, but I've done it a few times. Even though the landings have been a little rough, I landed without injury and safely. That's all that's happening this time. I just gotta steel myself, push myself off the edge while knowing full well I'll land safely, if maybe a little awkwardly. And after the initial rush of adrenaline and nervousness goes away, I'll get up and carry on.
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