So one of the first things i can remember after surgery was one of the most important things to the nursing staff taking care of me during my night in recovery and that was to make sure i had the 'nurse call' button and the button to the morphine pump. As you can see from these two photos i've added, (these taken when i was back in my hospital room) i had a good grip on the 'call' button in my left hand and the morphine button in my right hand.
So, as i was saying, i had the two buttons. I was told that i could click the morphine button every 10 minutes, something i was only able to know i could do if a little green light flashed on the button. I could click the button as often as i wanted but it would only give me more every 10 minutes. (of course it was kinda hard at first because my fingers still are numb -nerve damage and all from the past year or so carrying a tumor in me- so i had trouble finding the morphine button and so would fumble around with my right hand trying to find it, only to give up and use the 'nurse call' button so the nurse could position my finger over the button)
Anyway, as great as it is to not feel the pain and discomfort of cut apart neck muscles, a missing bone fragment, and the new empty space in my spinal column that a mynengioma tumor was occupying, pain is a good thing. Suffering makes us tough, and besides that even the Bible declares that God will not force upon us more than we can bear. James 1:13 says, "When under trial, let no one say: "I am being tried by God." For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone." So God does not bring problems on us. He is not the source of the trials we may face, but he does allow us to be tried, and as the scriptures explain he will help us if we rely on him.
But the other thing pain meds do to a person is block up the body. This was first brought to my attention my first day in the hospital (that Saturday morning when i was admitted) and my PCA came to give me my meds. She offered me a little orange gel pill and told me it was a suppository. Understanding what that is, i asked her if it was necessary for me to have it and i asked why i was being given it. The answer? People on pain meds tend to have trouble having bowel movements because pain meds slow up the system.
Of course after explaining that i wasn't on pain meds at the time i didn't have to take it, but once on the morphine i did start to take the suppository. That means i was on it Wed, Thurs, Fri, and Sat, following surgery and apart from relieving all fluids from my body (considering i was on an IV that was pumping fluids to keep me hydrated besides an extra pump attached with morphine) but i wasn't getting my system cleared out, and techincally the last time i had had a BM was Monday before surgery. So this meant that by Saturday i was actually feeling sick i was so clogged up.
At this point i now knew what my little bro Paul feels like when he hasn't been able to have a BM for a while. Usually the day before he gets the turd out of his body (a turd me, Mom, and Beck always have to stare once in disbelief at because we can't figure out how something that huge could be stuck within such a small child) he lies around the house acting a bit grumpy and moody because he feels sick. That's exactly how i felt by Saturday. It was hard to want to eat anything because my stomach felt queasy, as if i ate anything more i'd puke and what we really wanted ('we' being me and nursing staff) would be for the junk to come out the other end.
Truth of the matter is, pain meds dull the system from pain (at least that's how i think they work) but also lying around for a few days with no great physical exertion also dosen't add to the problem of getting the bowels moving. So knowing that i was feeling ill from getting clogged up, my RN gave me 'milk of manganese' (at least i think that's what it's called) which is supposed to act as a laxative (and tastes horribly chalky despite looking like coffee creamer) but even after taking that nothing happened. Farting was fine, so it's not like my rear exit was impacted or anything, things were just not moving through my intestines and other organs that waste moves through.
By Saturday afternoon, i finally said to my RN that we were going to have to take the last drastic measure to clear me out, in other words an enema. As much as i cringed at having to have one, sometimes you just have to know when you need help. So, with a nod at Mary my RN that day, we agreed it was time for the drastic measure, and was given an enema to see if that couldn't clear out my system. I was told, after it being given, that i needed to try to hold the liquid that is the concoction that flushes your system in for at the very least 10 -15 minutes. Unfortunatly, God has a sense of humor.
What does that mean? That means that about a minute or two of just lying on my bed focusing on being quiet and holding back my bowels, Dr. Schnittker chose then to come and see how i was doing. Of course he comes over and asks how i'm feeling and i'm a person who believes in always being honest, especially when medicine is concerned, so i told him "not so good at the moment actually" and explained that i was trying to clear my bowels
And Dr. Schnittker is a really nice guy, i mean really, even he smiled and kinda chuckled when he realized how bad his timing was at the moment. He did try to be quick and ask the other general questions and tell me a thing or two, such as he wouldn't be at the hospital tomorrow but his partner Dr. Yount would be coming by to check on me instead. And i know he said a thing or two more, but at that point i was doing my best to not explode. So as Dr. Schnittker turned to leave i asked him if he couldn't see if the nurse was out there too. I was still attached to the IV stand and had to hold onto a walker getting around my room, but in this case i was ready to risk staggering all over the place because my bowels were screaming the need to being evacuated and the toilet is on the other side of the room. Luckily Mary got there fast enough, and though she told me i really hadn't held the stuff in that long, she wasn't going to stop me! Here i was screaming in my head 'hurry up!' because the wheels on the IV stand didn't roll around the bathroom door at first, so it was almost a close call backing up, grabbing onto the bar on the wall for stability and sitting down to empty my system.
It truly was amazing, the feeling after getting my colon irrigated. The queasy sensation in my stomach vanished, i ate my first decent meal since surgery (chicken ceasar salad) and i felt better all over. I didn't clog the toilet like Paul has been known to do because he holds back for so long (i know better than a 6-yr-old that it's better to get it out than hold it in) but i did get some waste product out, and suddenly i felt so much better.
The truth about pain meds is that they clog your system, and getting your system unclogged is a glorious feeling. Of course, i'm writing this blog and realize that i haven't had a BM since that Saturday, so i can only hope that with more physical movement (being more active and being home will hopefully keep my system moving), drinking juice, eating different meals, will hopefully lead to normal system functions. I still am on pain meds (oral) and though i can take two every four hours i've been laying off as much as i can. I asked if i could get my IV off that Saturday and so i've been on the oral meds since then, and hopefully without the constant fluid pushing through me i was hoping it wouldn't clog my system anymore.
One way or another, i've been holding off on the pain meds. The most i've taken of the oral meds since coming home are two at night and one in the morning each day, otherwise i've been dealing with the pain and truth be told it's not so much a throbbing or sharp pain. As my neck heals, the discomfort i feel is more similar to severe muscle strain rather than actual pain; as if a heated gel pad or ice pak would help relax the tension in my neck and right shoulder/arm and after a bit of that therapy i could resume my old routine.
Of course it's gonna take time, not just heat/cold therapy, but i'm determined to do it with as little reliance on pain meds as possible.
