Catching Up to Yesterday (the rest of Tuesday) Part 2

         So in part 1 i got carried away with talking about the difference of sleeping at home and the hospital, and i left off with waking up Tuesday morning, so i'll pick up from there.

   So, i woke up, i was breathing in the familiar scents of Dad's room, and then i heard the 'buzz'. i was thinking it was the literal sound of my back thrumming, but it turned out instead to be a jumbo house fly who found its way into the room and became hell-bent on irritating me. I slept without covers last night, so the fly was having fun landing on my leg, arm, hands, etc. But it decided to buzz around my head the most. I honestly think it was drawn to the small of my week old unshowered hair and the slight odor coming from the bandages on my neck. (and yes, there has been an odor coming from back there, most likely a combination of sweat, betadine, and maybe something else. (Betadine, at least Mom and I think that's how it's spelled, is a topical antiseptic that is applied liberally during surgery to the area being operated on. I ended up having it all over my chest, stomach, in my hair, scalp, back, shoulders..guess they really didn't want me to be infected, but i did say they applied it 'liberally', and it could've easily dripped or spread around as well when applied, all i know is that i was covered in the orange stuff and considering the bandages on my neck had some of my hair trapped underneath and that also got covered, altogether it created a smell))

         So this fly was torturing me, reminding me just how important today was for another reason, because today i got my staples out. (and i do mean like industrial sized staples). Mom eventually poked her head in, and, finding me awake asked if she couldn't bring me something to eat, but i told her i needed to stay proactive and get moving, so she helped me sit up (i can't help but add 'creaking' sound effects when i move in the morning because i feel stiff) and with some help downstairs, mom was able to pop a pair of waffles into the toaster for me, and i slathered them in PB and syrup, cut them myself, and took all my meds (including the steroid decadran, which is for antinflammatory and i have to be slowly weaned off it, but have to take it two times a day, etc..) 

       After all that, i once again stared out into the backyard and was hit and the urge to do yardwork, which i've been doing a lot of, but won't really be able to do to the great extremes i've been doing for a while. But the grass needs mowing, there are weeds that need pulling, (its enough to make me just want to say 'to hell with it!' and get out my gloves and go to work) but instead i reigned myself in and enlisted Shawn and David's help in refilling my birdfeeders. 

          Taking stock, my thistle sock feeder needed refilling, as did my squirrel proof feeder (it has a cage around it making it hard for squirrels to get to the seed) and then i have a feeder than can turn into finch feeder or the openings cans be changed for other seed to be eaten out of it, another thistle feeder, and then a general seed feeder (vertical long ways), and then a white seed feeder i always fill with safflower (cause squirrels don't like it but the cardinals do).  So after asking Shawn to wash out the base of the interchangeable feeder (because it had moldy seed crusted in the bottom) and with David's help i refilled the squirrel proof feeder, the long one, and (after some rummaging in my cooler full of bird things i have in the garage) the feeder i use for safflower. But i  need to get more safflower, it didn't really fill it to much. But it felt great to fill the feeders, even if one feeder is devoured of all its contents by house sparrows/finches within a few hours. (talk about ravenous, and very piranha-like!) due to it be just a generic wild-blend. 

        And then of course there were those persistant little weeds that are always popping up from between the rock cover i've placed in the area that i just had to pull out (i really should find out what they are exactly, maybe they aren't actually weeds, but they only grow up through the rocks, are easy enough to pull out, and i did catch them in a flower pot on the other side of the yard which means it could've been spread somehow...)

    ANYWHO, so the mission of the morning was to get the boys fed so Mom and I could drop them off at Kathy Strickland's so that Mom and i could then travel to Dr. Schnittker's office in Elkart to get the staples removed from my neck. So after Mom helped me get a different shirt top on (built in bra, cami-top, really easy to get on without to much difficulty. Thanks Mom for letting me borrow it) and i was able to get other shorts on, we deposited the children in the capable hands of Kathy (thanks again so much for watching them Kathy. You're an amazing person, considering you can keep up with three energetic, ADHD boys) 

     Giving ourselves extra time to find the office, Mom and i did get slightly loss around the area of the Elkart hospital, but after briefly asking for directions at the Outpatient Therapy desk (Bridge st turns into arcade ave right after south blvd, so where the heck does it go,, through the hospital? etc,etc) we managed to find the parking lot and then the main building, and with the help of my walker (technically it was Grandpa Ralph's walker but since he's at St. Paul's now he dosen't actually need it. God certainly does have great timing for these things, such as knowing how i would need a walker and so supplied one to us in a moment of need, and a really good walker too, with breaks, and a seat, a little basket and pouch, hehe)
         I'd have to say i really like the inside of the office. I took a pic or two of the interior and the furniture so everyone else could see. There was this nice olive green color to the office and was just really pleasing to my artistic senses. The furniture color and patterns i also appreciated (ack! I'm an art nerd) 

               Eventually Mom and I were showed back to one of the rooms and then came the moment of truth, the removing of the bandages. With Mom holding Nikomaru at the ready (for those who are unaware, i tend to name any technological object i use often so that if it starts to struggle i can encourage it by name rather than call it a worthless piece of junk, or something else like that. Nikomaru is the name of my Nikon Coolpix P100) i got the bandages removed. The lady who removed them was really nice too, and was really sympathetic for me to, being careful as she could while peeling the patches away. My skin was red, irritated, a bit hairy (including a rubber band or two that had been wound into the hairs at nape of my neck during surgery. Mom cut out most of them a day or so after surgery, but one or two had still been stuck beneath the bandages), orangy from the betadine still left, and stapled.  

                   After that, it was just to remove them. Mom counted 23 staples, and after looking at the photos later i think that's what i counted too, but i may have miscounted. Mom was right when she said i had this 'reverse frankenstein' look, considering the staples were in the back instead of having bolts in the side or front. The staples came out pretty easily too. The most i felt was something like a pinch. Of course there was also the persistant pressure at the back of my skull and the tense line up the left side of my neck, but that's nerve damage and will just take time to ease.

           After a short wait, Dr. Schnittker came in to see  Mom and myself and i was able to shake his hand and thank him for pretty much saving my life here. I got to show him how much more i could flex my right leg (and i really have gotten flexion back in my foot, hooray!) although my hand is still tingly numb on the pads of my fingers (briefly stretches fingers out so they're pulled taut) and then point out to him it still feels like my right shoulder is a block of lead and still very stiff. That and i have numbness around the area. Mom demonstrated by poking me and I explained i didn't know if she was jabbing me or not, well, depending on where she was poking me anyway.
   

        The next thing to ask Dr. Schnittker about was something I discovered upon taking a shower yesterday. Upon my left arm are four patches of pimply bumbs, kinda blistery. I discovered them when i took off the bandage a nurse had out over my arm when removing the catheter on my left arm on Saturday. (i had asked if i could get it removed because it was being used and i had another IV in my other arm. But those bumps weren't there before) My first thought was that they were pimples caused by sweat from where the catheter had been, but i showed it to Mom and she told me it looked more like a Staff infection (fast spreading bacterial infection that, despite all precautions taken in hospitals, is still pretty common. It comes in many different varities) 

         So Dr. Schnittker looked at it and then told us he'd have Tonya his assistant look at it because "i'm just a simple neuro-surgeon" (by far one of the greatest lines Mom or I have ever heard and a great statement about this guys character, that he can be humble enough to admit he dosen't know medicine in general, just his area of expertise, and there is nothing simple about neuro-surgery that i know of!) and Tonya has training as a nurse practicioner. 
        Tonya did look it over and after some talking admitted it looked more like Impetigo (im-puh-TIE-go: is a highly contagious skin infection  that is more common around the mouth than the inner forearm) and so gave us a prescription for a steroid cream and said she'd call Thursday to check up on how it looked.

        After running a few errands and picking up the boys we went home and Mom and i were able to do the one thing i have been waiting for so long to do. Wash my hair. Considering its been over a week it was time, and oh God, God bless showers and water and soap. Mom of course had to do the washing because i lack the dexerity and movement and feeling to do it myself (right arm like lead and all and the nerve damage still there) and even that felt great. It meant the rest of the betadine could get washed away as well as anything else.
     While at the hospital, Mom had given me a sort of improvised hair wash because i couldn't get the bandages wet, in which she soaked a rag and rubbed and scrubbed it over the area of my head we could get wet. During those washes with the rag, i was also able to find out the places where they probably had clamps on my head just  because two areas in partiuclar above my ears but higher on my skull are still kinda sore, not only that, but during those washes mom was able to get some betadine out of my hair and several dark flecks off my skull that look a lot like dried blood, but no matter.
        Because i got home today and Mom lathered on the soap and rubbed it into my oily blond tresses as we let the shower head spray water over my scalp and down my neck  and shoulders and it felt GLORIOUS! GOD BLESS SHOWERS! Mom used one of her own shampoos first (one that lathers easily) only to not get a lather because my hair was so greasy. She used a healthy amount of my own shampoo on the repeat and we finally got some good suds worked up. Mom also carefully washed my neck (not aloud to scrub back there for three weeks) and with the meticulous nature that comes with caring for children for years, I got washed by my Mom, which is one of things you never think will have to happen once you've learned to do it yourself as a kid, but God throws some fast balls at ya and suddenly what you least expected is happening. 
         There was a point Mom pressed on the side of my neck and all i can say is that it felt weird. It didn't hurt, but it was like some straight line of numbness from below my right ear to the base of my neck. Nerve damage is interesting. 

   I felt 'me' or at least human again once Mom helped me get a shirt over my head and my hair slightly toweled. I also just felt like collapsing. It's amazing how much energy got drained throughout the day despite having not done a heckuva lot. Mom reasons with me that my body has undergone a great trauma and considering the area where this healing is centered is around one of the most vital places on the human body, it's not really suprising for me to feel tired after bursts of activity. I agree with her, it makes perfect sense, i just didn't expect to be hit with such a wall of weariness the moment after i flopped back onto Dad's bed after the shower and just sat for a while doing nothing more than breathe.

         It's hard for me to get the gumption to do stuff once i flop back and get comfortable, but i managed to get enough momentum to download pics from my camera at long last, and edit a few so i could post some  at last. This being done as i watched Bambi and then a little later introduced David (who wandered in near the end of Bambi to watch with me)  to the Danny Kaye film the Court Jester. (he watched it with me, and i think he enjoyed it. It is a fun movie :) Maybe i should introduce David to musical theatre, hmmmm.....)

     So, at long last, it was time to get ready for bed (and boy was that an adventure. Paul has become a little menace these past two days and i'm torn between hitting with an elephant tranquilizer so he just stops or beating this nasty behavior out of him the way you beat dirt out of rugs. Of course neither way is humane so i'd never do it, but i can always imagine me doing it and dream about the effects. In any case, that's why Mom is so much better at metting out the disicpline than me in certain situations.) And Shawn was giving himself a hard time going to sleep because he was insistently blowing his nose of any drip instead of at least trying to relax or even for a little while breathe through his mouth, but was just making his  nose hurt by irritating it with constant blowing. Between that and harsh sneezes and Mom telling him that she could do no more for him (she gave him nasal spray and antihistimine) Shawn did not go to sleep any sooner than Paul did. David seemed to be the only one who went to sleep without having to be told to get back in bed 300 times or something like that.
  *sigh. Little brothers...I do love them but half the time i just wanna throw them out a window, at least put duct tape over their mouths.  



With the bandages, a day or so after surgery



Getting the bandages peeled off.

the whole back of me with staples in

clipping the staples off felt like a tiny pinch but no great pain. Then again, about 65% of my neck lacks feeling back there too

23 staples




and here's the furniture from the waiting room. Nifty pattern and designs, eh?





Catching up to Yesterday again (Tuesday) Part 1

Ok, so technically i'm writing this on Wednesday, but I'm gonna do my best to write this blog as if it was Tuesday evening and was getting my thoughts together (may seem not that complicated to everyone else reading but it has to do with what perspective and word tense i write in, so if i jump from present tense to past tense, please bear with me!)


       So sleeping last night (Monday night into Tuesday morning) was different and yet the same as sleeping at the hospital. The obvious major difference being the location, but the other difference is the bed. Yes, i do miss sleeping in my water bed a whole lot, but for the time being Dad's bed is the better option for me, and it's a mattress, and it's this that is somewhat similar to the hospital beds. Now, to help everyone understand, the beds at the hospital are inflatable and always changing. You so much as bend a knee or twitch a foot and the mattress is shifting/inflating/flating to counter your every contour. At some times it's nice, but for me i couldn't help but be at constant war against the bed (i Raged Against the Machine, which is what jumped in my head after my first sleep on the mattress, and the words i believe are the name of a rock band...) The bed does make noise as the air adjusts, but it's something you get used to ignoring easily (considering all the other noises outside the door to my room, yeah, it was real easy to ignore the eeeerrrrinnnng sound of air being blown in and out or wherever)
               But i say i battled the hospital bed because it never seemed to give me the right support i wanted when i shifted. It would sink to far down or just not adjust right. Sometimes it helped when i changed the angle of the bed (obviously, this being a special hospital bed, is like one of those theraputic mattresses that can lift the knees or sit uprightish, etc) so i could hit the buttons and lay more at an incline (and later after i asked if the knee part could bend, a nurse unlocked the knee feature. It was locked originally due to so many people on the 8th floor having joint replacements and whatnot were not in need of having their legs bent or raised)  
       Especially after surgery did i have serious issues with the bed, mostly in the support of how i was lying. During the day i sat in a recliner chair in which i was given a 'waffle cushion' (which i ended up...accidentally bringing home with...ok ok i took it without asking if i was allowed to or not, so maybe i stole it, but i figure they gave it for me to use (and actually, an RN by the name of Amy( this one was a older lady who wore glasses and also brought me to my room my first night in the hospital) was also my RN the evening before i went home and she made a comment, when she was helping rearrange some cushions on the recliner for me, that i should just take it with me (understand the conversation we were having at the time was how much I appreciated the cushion because it wasn't giving me any tailbone pain or lowerback strain despite from sitting in a recliner for a good 80% of the day) ) so I guess you could say i took Amy's advice to heart and took it with me. Mom snuck it out with her when she was taking my walker to the car when i went home. (On a side note, thanks again Aunt Margy for the green throw blanket! Not only has it been great for cover and as a cushion for my head, but Mom was able to hide the waffle cushion within it too)

      So, i think i may have loss my original train of thought (guess you could say it 'derailed') so let me try to get back on the straight. I was discussing the bed battling me, oh yeah, how it was harder after surgery with the bed. Although after surgery i gained like five extra pillows from nowhere (they just seemed to be everywhere all of a sudden and i originally only had two) but i had at least one behind my back horizontal for support the lower half, then had one pillow by my left shoulder, a seconed pillow put at an angle so it was behind my head and right shoulder (because even now my shoulder feels like a block of lead, but after surgery it had this particularly weird numb feeling and I had a hard time trying to adjust pillows, attempting to get the feeling that my shoulder was actually being supported instead of floating) and then i had a pillow under each arm so i was pretty much surrounded. All the pillows were of the feathery quality so that they could be beaten and shoved into certain positions for maximum comfort.
         Even so, one of the worst sensations i troubled with that week after surgery, whenever i slept in the bed that is, is that my back would feel 'highly strung?' To try and explain, what would happen is that however it was the bed shifted around me, and despite having a pillow in my lower back for support, i'd wake up feeling as if my lower-to-mid back was floating, or just so tense that i could swear it was 'thrumming' with tension. I would do my best to shift, or increase the angle i was lying at (after surgery Dr. Schnittker said i couldn't lay flatter than a 30* degree angle to keep a certain support for my head and neck i suppose) but if somehow i was able to relieve some of the tension and get at least the feeling of support for my lower back, suddenly it was my neck that was in agony and felt unsupported and that sensation would telegraph to my right shoulder which would require more shifting and in the end just a lot of discomfort and a highly strung back (i suppose you could strum a tune across the muscles of my back like a guitar they felt so tight)

       But now, at home, i find myself fighting that same feeling again. I have like five or six pillows, varying sizes and even my body pillow and yet last night (Monday night that would be) i woke up around 4:30 am with the feeling that my back was thrumming with tension. It literally feels like a tiny vibration (which i why i feel the word 'thrumming' is by far the most accurate adjective) and of course all i really wanted to do was try and adjust myself in a small increment, because to move my back would mean  to move my neck and the cycle of discomfort would continue, but it also can't be relieved until i move, so in the end my only option is to move!
         In the end, i usually end up waking up in the near exact position i fell asleep in, and again, that means something is aching one way or another, with or without the pain meds. But the biggest difference waking up this time is that i was in my Dad's room, i was woken up by the sounds of little children arguing over video games (or something along those lines) and no one was popping in to take my vitals. (temperature, blood pressure, blood oxygen (when they put that little clip on your finger and its surrounded by some red light sensor that reads the refection of the hemoglobin, or something like that)) 

         Of course, waking up at home has some other awesome perks to it too. Such as just knowing you're home is a great feeling. I laid in bed for who knows how long just greatful to be home. That i couldn't help but just shove my nose into the sheets and breathe in that smell that i know to be 'Dad' (and i know everyone knows what i mean, but just in case others are unclear, i'm talking about that scent that everyone has that distinguishes them; a better example would be to say when you're sorting laundry and you pick up a shirt and are hit with that moment of question as to who it is so you hold it against your nose and breathe in the smell and are able to tell who the owner is just from that sniff)
      So i was comforted just to be able to smell 'Dad' as opposed to 'hospital' and that is an amazingly comforting feeling to get hit with. (on another side not, i did the same thing with Mom's pillow later just because it's such an amazing and soothing thing to breathe in those familiar scents)